I've had a lot of different emotions going on in me lately. I should be full of joy and gratitude that we are healthy, together, and that nothing has changed financially for us.
Why then, is all this staying home with the kids, doing home school, continuous cooking and cleaning, and prompting kids to do this and that, getting at me? Why do I feel heavy at times and on edge?
I can't really pinpoint the answer. Perhaps in part, it is because I feel this huge responsibility to make this time in history the best I can. I want to be that mom who helps her kids grow scholastically through this time of distant learning. But I also want to be the creative Mom who is taking this opportunity to do more crafts and activities with her kids, and not being guilty of letting them be on electronics too much. Then, there is church. I've got to make sure that church in our home is reverent and uplifting and that my children are growing spiritually with every scripture read and lesson taught.
There is a lot of responsibility on us as parents right now, and maybe that scares me.
Do I have what it takes?
Well, without Jesus, I surely don't.
But maybe if I take it one moment, one meal, one mess, one school assignment, one day at a time, I can do this.
Just maybe the small things will be enough.
Maybe I really can be strong and do all things through Christ.
In an attempt to sort through my thoughts, I started writing. I wrote to Jesus, because He's the only one who can help me through this.
I'm Alicia Banta
Lover of life.